Wild Kingdom

I got roped into going to a purse party last night. My 19 year old cousin asked me if I would go like a month ago and to appease her, I said sure. I had no intention of actually going. But when she called me on Wednesday night to remind me, I got suckered. Knowing that I am a girl of my word, she completely manipulated me. I finally gave in and told her I would attend with the understanding that I would be on my couch by 8 for The O.C. A girl's gotta draw the line somewhere.

I have been invited to these home parties before even though I try to avoid them like the plague. Purse parties, jewelry parties, Pampered Chef, Mary Kay...the list is never ending. I view these as things the women in their 40's do because it is an excuse to invite people over and get drunk. I have no problem going out and getting drunk...I do not need an excuse. I also do not need to add fake designer bags and shoddy jewelry into the mix.

I get there and am literally the only one above 20. I found myself hanging out in the kitchen talking to the moms. Not the best start.

Then the lady started putting the purses out and all hell broke loose. These girls went crazy. I mean fighting, clawing, scratching, biting...nothing was off limits. She didn't even have time to put prices on them before the girls were attacking her. These girls, who minutes ago were chatting nicely, had turned into animals.

Each of them had about 6 purses on each of their arms, all fake and all $60-$100 bucks a piece. When I was in college, I was broke. I would have $20 for the week and that would pay for everything. The thought of spending $60on a fake purse would have been ludicrous, nevermind the hundreds of dollars they were shelling out.

I tried to hide in the corner so as not to get injured in the melee. But no place was safe. I was accosted and asked for my opinion on about 75 different purses and reprimanded because I was only carrying one around. There was even a 2 year old boy wandering around carrying his mom's purse options. It was crazy.

Finally, things seemed to calm down. But then the lady started laying out the jewelry and the feeding frenzy began all over again. By this point I had only been there for 45 minutes but decided I had enough so I tried to leave. That wasn't happening either. After about another 10 minutes of "I REALLY have to go" did I make a narrow escape to the safety of my car.

It may have been the scariest hour of my life.

I did walk into work this morning with my new fake Prada though.