Going into the evening, I had a few goals:
1. Get off the lift without falling
2. Don't break anything
3. Don't be a pussy
That was it. Simple enough, right?
I arrived at the mountain on time, as usual and had to wait for my sister who was late, as usual. I headed up to the rental building figuring I would get my goodies while I waited. Things started badly there.
The girl who was supposed to help me yelled at me right off the bat. She yelled at me for putting my lift ticket on my jacket and because I didn't know what size snowboard I needed. I answered every one of her questions the same way..."I've never done this before." Then she got really pissed when she asked me if my stance was "standard" or "goofy." Huh? Is riding on your ass a stance option?
Thankfully, at this point a more experienced member of my party arrived to help me out. He explained things to me without making me feel stupid while the girl behind the counter rolled her eyes.
Once I got all my gear all set, the four of us headed out to the mountain. Here is a picture of me upright. It will be the last one you see. Notice, I am not even clipped in which is the reason I am still standing.
It took me a little bit to get used to the board and the whole toe vs. heel edge thing but pretty soon, I was making it about 5 feet without falling. Then 10. The Bunny Hill was not going to be the boss of me.
It was suggested that we head over to the other lift to go to a higher and more challenging run. I was game. We did the "snowboard shuffle" over which had to be at least 10 miles away. It sucked, plain and simple. Once we reached it, the lift broke. And we waited.
As we waited, the line of people behind us grew longer and longer. Filled with visions of myself causing a 20 person pile-up trying to get off the lift, I decided to head back to the other less dangerous side of the mountain.
After an hour of falling, exhaustion and pain started to take over.
The first photo was a staged version of what I looked like most of the night. The photo below however isn't. This occurred when Gadamoose attempted to show me how to use my heel edge. What followed was disastrous. I went down and smacked my head so hard, my hat actually flew off. Thankfully, I have a hard head and there is no permanent damage.
On our way over to the challenging lifts for the second time, I got stonewalled by a ski lesson. I couldn't cut over because there were people strewn all over the mountain and I was not good enough to manuever through them. As a big believer in signs, I took this to mean I was not supposed to go any higher. My second attempt to get on the lift was thwarted. I could take a hint. So the three of them headed over while I took a much needed break.
However, I am a total psycho. I cannot sit ideally and watch. My party was gone for about 2 minutes when I decided to head back up and face the mountain alone.
The first run went by without incident. When I got to the bottom, I turned around to get back on the lift. The girl laughed at me as I was covered in snow and breathing like Darth Vader.
Ski lift girl: "Are you ok?"McDougall: "I am going to learn how to do this if it kills me."
That last run down was the worst one. I was bruised and exhausted but I put on my game face and got it done. My buddies were at the bottom waiting for me, cheering me on as I rolled down the hill.
Total Damage: bruises and aches everywhere. My knees look like Kuato's babies are going to pop out at any moment. Nice red welt on my chest where I got the wind knocked out of me. Bruised left hip. Strained left calf muscle. Shooting pain up my right wrist.
Goals:
1. Made it off the lift ONCE without falling2. Didn't break anything
3. Was not a pussy.
The Verdict: I feel great and and hitting the slopes again next Wednesday.
3 comments:
You are a Rock Star!
McDougal did very well for the first time out. We will have to work on the heel side next week!
No so much. I didn't like that move. I prefer to call it the tingling ass side.
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