The Meet Market

I was forced against my will to attend this horrible event. I did not want to go. I whined like a little bitch for the three weeks leading up to it that I did not want to go. But somehow I found myself outside this very place on Tuesday evening.

If you are not familiar with the concept the Meet Market is an event set up by a local radio station where single guys advertise themselves as "Pieces of Meat" (I made lots of bad puns all night) and chicks come to ogle. I am not usually someone who is easily embarrassed. But for some reason, this was mortifying to me. But I agreed to go. Once again, being a nice person came to bite me in the ass.

After putting on the most conservative, non-sexy outfit I could find without rocking a turtleneck, I met up with my girls and headed downtown. What we found was a line of girls who had all arrived early to get the best cut of meat. We got in line despite my grumbling. That is me hiding from the camera as the radio station took pictures for their website.


Once in line, we were handed Men-U's. This was a little booklet containing each of the guy's vital statistics. Name, age, town of residence, job, car, what they are looking for in a girl, and if they are looking for a long term relationship or just a one night stand. All you ever needed to know whilst shopping for a man without asking. Totally mortifying.

Inside it was even worse. The guys had nametags which only included their numbers. Girls would look for someone they found attractive, find their number in the little Men-U and then decide whether or not they wanted to go talk to them. It was amazing to see 30 year old women giggling in the corner as they drooled over the Men-U.

I holed up in the corner with my friends and a Coors Light. Beer was the only thing that was going to make this evening tolerable. So we drank some.

The evening ended meatless at the diner where we entertained ourselves with funny stories and fake tattoos. Maybe I should consider becoming a vegan.