After a very long absence, I recently found myself reacquainted with some old friends. I met these individuals back when I was 16 years old. We hung out for a couple of years and then college and life got in the way. I would run into one of them every couple months as we sometimes frequented the same bars and knew some of the same people. But it was only after a funeral back in February that we all met up again and decided to start hanging out again. Thus, The Meeting was born.
Our little club is comprised of four members: The Midge, two unnamed gentlemen and myself. We meet a local dive bar one night a week and talk about anything and everything. Seriously, some of the conversations would shock you.
I have always been a believer in the “When Harry Met Sally…” school of thought that men and women can’t just be friends. I had two best guy friends in my life and I ended up dating both of them for extended periods of time. My rationale? If you like this person so much that you want to spend your time, your secrets, your hope and your fears with them, at some point one or both of you is going to wonder what it would be like to date. Thus, the friendship is ultimately doomed from the start.
There is an amendment to this rule, which I have recently become aware of. We had our share of dating drama with these guys in high school. We’ve all grown and sort of matured. Both guys are engaged. None of us are remotely interested in each other. This makes having a friendship possible. And it rocks.
We can just hang out and be ourselves. No primping or worrying about inappropriate comments. No secrets. Last week, they asked us a “girl question” that was totally vile. They had always wanted to know the answer and were not afraid to ask us. They bitch about their women and we bitch about men. It is such freedom.
So I guess my lesson of the week is that I do believe now that it is possible for men and women to be just friends. Maybe I am growing as a person? Not sure about that, but I do know that I am looking forward to tonight’s meeting.
VerveEarth
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- "if I could just unzip myself and step out and be someone else, I'd wanna be you. You're all heart, Rock."
6 comments:
I am definitely from the When Harry Met Sally school.
But the WHMS rule really applies to "best" friends or at least really, really close ones, not just the casual friendship...
I truly don't believe it's possible... however, there are specific scenarios in which this rule applies...
1. Do you find him attractive?
2. Do you talk on the phone say 2+ times a week?
3. Will you hang out outside of this "meeting"?
If you answered YES to ALL of these, then I think it falls under the WHMS rules and something will inevitably happen... Probably one of the following:
1. Connection between you two cannot be denied, engagement off...etc...
2. Fiance jealous, fiance shows up to meetings since it's just friends anyway
3. No more meetings :-(
If you answered NO to any of them, then the WHMS doesn't really apply...
See, I do believe that a friendship is possible with these guys for the following reasons:
1. Any attraction happened about 12 years ago and has since dissipated.
2. I talk to one of them on the phone only to make plans.
3. We will be hanging out outside this meeting starting Saturday night. There will be about 6 other people present.
I agree that at some point the fiancé will want to join us to find out what the big deal is. Another WHMS rule. The significant other can't understand why you just want to be friends with this person.
See... I DO think it's possible under those circumstances... but in the WHMS, it's more like a person of the opposite sex is essentially your best friend... and that kind of "buddy" scenario absolutely never works...
I've heard a lot of people say of high school that they have no desire to see anyone because if they wanted to keep in contact with them they would have... But I completely disagree...
Between working full time, your family, your close friends, it's hard enough to spend the time with everyone you want to... so by default as time goes on everyone's circle gets smaller and smaller...
So it's good to make those plans that way to ensure you stay in contact...
On a side note, EVERYTIME I write something it takes me multiple times to properly type in the "word verification"... G's and Q's and I's and J's...
Does anyone else have this problem?
Yes, the word verify gets me too! Just looking down right now, I know I am not going to get this one on the first try. Can't tell if the first letter is an N or an R!
P.S. Spring Ahead stinks. I am dreading changing all my clocks this morning. Why can't we just stay on daylight savings time? This way, it wouldn't get dark at 3:30 in December. I know that they are expanding it next year, but it is only for a couple of weeks on either end.
So it looks like me and T-Bone are tied for first in the NCAA pool. We stand to win $650if we are closer to the score then the other guy. If not, we win a lowly $270. We rock!
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