Off and Running

Tomorrow will mark an annual McDougall clan tradition...a trip up to Saratoga Springs, New York to blow some money on the ponies. Every August, we make the 2 hour pilgrimage in order to partake in two of our favorite vices; gambling and binge eating.

The journey begins at 7 am. The plan is to squeeze 12 people, 20 pounds of food, numerous fat wallets and 4 big hats into 2 cars and caravan up together.

If you've never been, Saratoga is a beautiful little town. Quaint Victorian B&Bs, gorgeous houses, spas and lots of ridiculously expensive stores. These bored rich folks need a place to blow their funds in a fancy way. Enter the race track. But to quote Dave Matthews, "don't drink the water."

Once we get there, we have to decide if we want to be peons or spend the extra $2 a person to elevate ourselves to clubhouse status. The only real difference is that you can watch the race from above rather then on the pavement, fighting the masses. My preference has more to do with being short and my crowd anxiety rather then being fancy. I have no problem with being or chilling with the laypeople.

After purchasing our tickets (either $2 or $4 depending on the previously mentioned class differential) we play the squatters rights game. We find a good spot that has elements for everyone. Shade for Eboogie and Gail B and sun for T-Bone and myself. We put down our blankets and then create an impenetrable fortress of coolers, shoes, picnic tables, etc. with which no outsiders can safely walk through.

Now it is time to get down to business. Reading the race book, the trade papers or any other gimmick being peddled in an effort to give you that inside tip that will help you pick the winner. However, despite the mass quantities of resource materials available, we tend to pick predominately based on the horse's name, number and/or color. It is very scientific.

I do have one other criterion that I base my betting on. The jockey. Or more specifically betting against my nemesis jockey...Pat Day.

Pat Day and I have been fighting for years. When he first appeared in my race book, I bet on him simply because he shared a moniker with my junior prom date. However, it quickly became apparent that he was not a good jockey because he consistently lost. I decided to place my money elsewhere.

Then an amazing thing happened...he started winning every race. I decided to give Pat another chance and bet him again. He started losing again. The only logical conclusion to draw is that he is out to get me. If I bet him, he loses and if I don't, he wins. Therefore we are officially in a fight. (I did check the line-up for tomorrow and he doesn't seem to be riding. However I am sure that little bastard will find a way to show up and ruin my fun.)

I am looking forward to spending some nice quality time with the family hopefully fattening up the wallet and not the stomach while instructing the younger generation of McDougalls on the sheer joy that comes from gambling.

Win or lose, it is a safe bet that it will be a good time.