The Holiday Letter is a one of the kitschiest of traditions I can think of in recent years. The pretense behind it is that you keep in touch with friends and family by way of a one pager that recaps and provides a year in review. I see it more as a nefarious vehicle whose sole purpose is to attempt to kick the shit out of the Jones…as in my family is better then yours.
This year I am throwing my Santa hat into the competitive letter writing arena. You be the judge…
SEASONS GREETINGS!
It's been a whirlwind year in the McDougall household. 2007 got off to a rocky start after a very "It puts the lotion in the basket" New Years party in an unnamed basement. But after a few weeks of psychotherapy, I was back to my usual chipper self.
February found the McDougall clan cruising around Mexico and Central America. We had a great time frolicking in waterfalls in Guatemala, cave tubing in Belize and taking hits out of a penis bong in Mexico. All in all, a great family bonding experience.
In the spring my life became complete with the addition of little Bubo. He has had a very busy year as well in 2007. Since moving in with me, he has developed many interests and hobbies. I have high hopes for his career goals. To date, he is showing promise as a voyeur as he watches me shower every morning. He may also have a career as a sanitation engineer as he seems to have a strong attraction to garbage. I couldn't be prouder of my little terrorist!
I took a trip to Las Vegas this summer which was great fun! I did run into some fiscal issues in relation to this trip, so upon my arrival home I found myself needing to substantiate my income. I made the difficult decision to go back to further my education. Turns out I have a knack for it! I graduated first in my class and have the ability to work from home so as to spend more time with Bubo. They are installing the pole in my bedroom tomorrow.
In October I successfully finished my 2nd half marathon. Training and finishing an endurance athletic event is a worthy undertaking. I always feel let down once the event is over, mostly because I have to go back to being anorexic. Eating days are so much more enjoyable.
This year was a banner year in The Great Husband Search: Year 28 as I managed to date an entire decade. We start with the 22 year old Hollister model who while straight, worked at a gay bar. Another, while age appropriate, shared a name with a very popular Fisher Price toy. On to the old guy...the first guy I've dated who has crossed over into that ever scary abyss of the 30+. The most fun we had together was playing Guitar Hero. Although my affinity for the game remains, such cannot be said for the man. At least I can safely say that there was no mention of the Holocaust on any of my dates.
Notable Mentions from around the Clan
- E&Z finished the rock wall
- Pooh finally moved our of her parent's house
- Lynn made some new friends in her MBA class
- Jules got moldy fish returned to her after a month
- Andrew is still waiting for the repair man
- Michael shit under the bed
That's about it from this girl. Best wishes for a warm and fuzzy holiday season and a fantastic New Year. If you need anal wart cream, you know where to find me.
You know you love me.
XOXO
McDougall and Bubo
1 comment:
Love the holiday letter! You should definitely send one out next year. :)
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